


I'm Not Laughing

by smolstiel



Series: Brothers Apart AUs and One-Shots [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe of an Alternate Universe, Brothers Forgotten AU, Gen, Giant Sam, Hunter Dean, Im not sure yet, Monster Sam, Size Difference, either going to be a full fic or just a bnch of one-shots, extreme size difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 16:58:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11925225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolstiel/pseuds/smolstiel
Summary: Fate pulls a whammy on Dean. Needless to say, he isn't laughing.A Brothers Forgotten AU. (An AU of an AU of an AU. What is my life.)





	I'm Not Laughing

**Author's Note:**

> I debated whether to put this in the Brothers Forgotten series or not, so I made a new one. Which probably means there's more to come, but we'll see.

Dean was glad to be on an old-fashioned monster hunt. Something physical he could shoot. No ghostly possessions or haunted mirrors or shit. He’d had enough spirits this last couple of months to last a damn lifetime. Though who the fuck knew what was out here. His best guess? A wendigo. This many people going missing? Had to be. 

He crept through the underbrush with silent steps, scanning the forest around him. He hadn't found anything yet. He was coming up on four in the morning, and things seemed just as quiet as any other woodsy fall night. Plenty of crickets and raccoons, but nothing out of the ordinary. 

He sighed and leaned against a tree, scrubbing at his face. Well. Maybe it was time for Plan B. 

A scratching sort of noise interrupted his reverie, and he was instantly on his guard again. His gun came up and he scoured the area around. He didn't see anything. Probably just an animal, then. But he didn't let down his guard. 

Then a shadow enveloped the moon, looking for all the world like — _a giant hand?!_

He barely managed to bring his gun up before he was closed in solid, warm darkness and _lifted_ , far faster than he was even _remotely_ comfortable with. Everything shifted and he fell back into what _could not_ be enormous fingers and thickly ridged skin, because fucking giants _did not exist._

So he did about the only thing he could think of. He emptied his chamber into the enclosing darkness. 

He was rewarded with a shit-ton of curses that vibrated the very air, and the hand jerked away, leaving him to plummet a good eight feet to the ground. He landed hard on his shoulder, and grunted. Then there was a silence that permeated his flesh, made his skin tingle with a horrible anticipation. 

Something shifted above him, and Dean lifted himself up, cradling his arm. He stared. At a foot. Bare, grass-stained, and twice, maybe three times his length. Maybe longer. He followed the foot up to a leg, thick and heavy like a building, and bent at the knee. Right next to a massive expanse of patchwork cloth covering a broad torso, a chest that likely had muscles enough to break his bones just by flexing, and then there was a collarbone and a thick, thick neck, and eyes that fixed on him like hazel floodlights, so big and soft and _big…_

Dean blanched as a hand set down behind him with weight enough to crush him, and a voice rumbled around him like really apologetic thunder. “Oh God. I’m sorry. I didn't mean — aw, hell. I'm really sorry! Are you okay?” 

“Holy shit,” was about all he could manage. And then again. “Holy _SHIT!_ ” He stumbled to his feet and tried to back sideways around the hand and _away_ from the monolith of a — _not a giant, giants aren't fucking real!_

Turns out that was a really bad idea, because the giant _(not fucking possible)_ took that as invitation to close two column-sized fingers around him and keep him in place. 

“Whoa, whoa,” the monster soothed. “Calm down. I'm not gonna hurtcha.” 

“Like hell you aren’t!” he retorted and tried to duck under the fingers gently closed around his waist. This was a fucking nightmare. He froze as the grip tightened around him, and glared up at the culprit. All he could see from here was a dark bulk, massive and freaking intimidating. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” the giant said gently. Dean felt patronized as all fuck. “I'm not going to do anything. I just want to talk. Are you up for talking?” 

_Absolutely not,_ he wanted to snap. He was pinched in between vice-like fingers that could kill him without a thought, and the monster wanted to have a damn _chat?!_. “Look, I ain’t interested,” he called up between struggles, but it was pretty clear he didn’t have much choice in the matter. He let out a (completely justified) yelp as he felt himself jerked suddenly to one side, the toes of his boots barely able to drag against the dry leaves. “Hey, whoa, watch the merchandise!” 

“Sorry, sorry,” came the sincere rumble from above, and what the hell was the thing trying to do? It almost felt like it was trying to get a grip on his — yep, his shirt, shitfuckingdammit. He growled and tried to twist out of his jacket, but the fingers had latched onto him all the way down to his t-shirt. He wasn’t going anywhere, and they both knew it. 

So Dean crossed his arms, put on his best mofo face, and sent pure, concentrated venom up in his narrowed eyes. 

Except, He-Man apparently didn’t even see him, or care anyway, because without warning there was a damn asteroid aimed at his damn face, except it was the head of the giant, and what kind of a monster had a head the size of a Cape Cod cottage? It wasn’t fucking decent. 

“You’re a hunter,” the monster said blithely, and way too loudly for being right up in Dean’s face (or for Dean being right up in its face), “but I understand why you came after me. I seem like a threat, but I’m really just big.” 

Dean turned away with a wince as warmth skated over every inch of his bare skin. Talk about breathing down someone’s neck. “Look, you’re the Incredible Hulk, I can see that. And I’m sorry for Hawkeyeing your ass.” _My ass I’m sorry._ “But if it ain’t your ginormous ass I’m after, you mind explaining to me exactly who or what’s been taking people out around here?” 

There was a slight huff of humid breath, and a quietly disgusted comment of, _Ugh, say it, don’t spray it,_ from Dean, before the monster sat up. Taking Dean up with him. 

“Son of a _bitch!_ ” he protested as the ground suddenly dropped out from under him. “Warn me before you go all runaway elevator!” 

Unexpectedly, the quip produced a warm chuckle at his back, and he was gently _(oh so fucking gently)_ set into a wide palm. “I’ll keep that in mind,” the giant grinned, and Dean reeled at the sudden appearance of glinting teeth. He forced himself to hold still, even though his beating heart was surely going to explode through his chest and expose him either way. 

He shoved his gaze upward to eyes that were probably as big as him if he were in a fetal position, eyes that were hooded and colorless in the darkness, that were looking him over with all the unrestrained curiosity of a child. Which, kids were ruthless when it came to bugs and lizards and shit, and if this thing had decided Dean was a plaything… 

“God,” the monster murmured. “I forget how big I am.” 

Dean swallowed, unable to read the features at all, considering it was still dark, and said face was the size of a house. He refused to show any hesitation though, and kicked at a thumb as wide as his chest. Jesus, his leg looked like a _toothpick_ next to that thing. 

The giant ducked his head, like he was trying to hide behind a curtain of hair, and Dean was briefly puzzled. Because that was such a shy move from a creature that intended to kill him. Had probably already tossed a good ten people down the hatch. 

He pushed the thought away. “Well? Spill. What exactly is the _real_ culprit here?” He let the sarcasm hang heavy in his voice. 

“Witches?” The thing seemed to wince as it offered up the frankly unconvincing alibi. “There’s a big coven out here, at least fifty women. I just. Haven’t found the altar yet.” 

Dean quirked a brow. “Uh-huh.” 

The giant scowled, and on someone smaller it would have been ineffective, but knowing that you were sitting in the fucking _grasp_ of the thing that had such an unhappy look was kind of unsettling. “Oh, right, I forgot, we were killing me. Maybe we should just get with that program. You know, until another person dies, and oops! Guess we killed the wrong guy. Well, so much for that. He was probably a man-eating monster anyway.” The cloying tone melted into another dark look. 

Okay, so that was a fair point. 

He threw up his hands. “So I want to keep people safe. Sue me.” 

For some reason, that made the giant’s lip curl up on one side. But Dean wasn’t let in on the joke. Instead, he was lowered a little, finally feeling like he could breathe again. 

“Look, let’s call it a truce. You quit trying to kill me, and I’ll tell you everything I know about the coven.” The giant’s eyes were big and innocent in the way that made him instantly suspicious. Only one pair of eyes could take that look and win against him, and Sammy was long gone. 

“And how do I know you won’t lie?” he challenged right back. 

The monster simply shrugged. “You want a ride?” he said dryly. “I can stay with you until you’re satisfied, if you’re really going to be a dick about it. But I’m not a killer. I live on the land, not on suburban soccer moms.” 

Dean guessed he didn’t have much of a choice. “Fine.” He pointed a finger up to the massive features. “But you’re going to stay right with me, and if you fuck me over, I _will_ kill you. I’ll haunt your Andre the Giant ass if I have to.” 

The smile that split the face hovering above was cloaked in shadow. “I’ll count on it,” the thing snarked back without missing a beat, sounding vaguely amused. Dean stiffened. He was _not_ fucking amusing. But he was being lowered to the ground, and as soon as he was close enough to make a jump, he did. He smirked as he felt more than sensed the way the thing shook out its hand too, because he was a damn good shot even when hands the size of his whole body came out of nowhere. 

The giant thundered something above him, and Dean froze. “What did you say?” he croaked out. Because what the fuck was fate trying to pull on him. 

“My name is Sam,” said the giant. And then he cocked his head in that little brother way Dean would know anywhere. “What’s yours?”


End file.
